your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
