We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
did i just pee glitter
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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