you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
