I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
