I just pynch a tree in the face
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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