He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
