I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
