i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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