Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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