It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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