i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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