i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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