So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
