She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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