she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
