C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
