Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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