pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
