i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
