You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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