he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
