She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
