This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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