I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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