Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
