It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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