the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize