some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
