so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
