i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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