I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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