He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
