apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
