I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
