tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
