My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize