those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
