every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
