Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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