Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
