U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
