She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
