i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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