our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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