addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
