You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
