First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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