My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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