couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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