and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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