im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
