omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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