I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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