I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
