After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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