ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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