At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
