Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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